Disruptive: Role Of Families In Educating Generation Of Century 21

This study aims to examine the phenomenon that occurs in the 21st-century community. The economic needs faced by the 21st-century community are a challenge in the future. The problem concerns the loss of parental roles in providing the best primary education for children. The researcher needs to conduct a study of the loss of the part of 21st-century parents and the impact that occurred loss of a parental role in providing the best primary education. Ideally, parents should be the most crucial figure at home. As stated by Prophet Muhammad SAW that primary education is family. Then it becomes essential to figure parents in the development of their children. In this paper, we will analyze the right school for children in the 21st century, especially in the family.


Introduction
In Islam family is the first building in the scope of the micro community. The micro community intended here is a family or a small part of the social community. The social interaction of the community will impact social change. The social change in the community starts from the initial level of the micro community or called the family. One of the social changes that occur today is the increasing needs of the community's economy, thus impacting the resilience of the family economy. Family resilience is a very important matter, both in the family and in the community. Endurance in the family must be kept in strength. In the midst of the struggle for the weak value of rupiah and the increasing economic needs. (Azizah, dkk, 2018) So it takes careful and precise steps to keep the family on hold.
The 21st century man to meet the economic needs to strengthen the resilience of families by working hard. It is done to fulfill the various necessities of his life, such as primary needs such as food, drink, clothing, and decent housing. To meet the needs of a decent primary and improve its life, many people do urbanization. Urbanization is done by the community one of them to fulfill the needs by complaining of fate and hoping to improve his life.
To fulfill his needs and improve his life the parents worked hard both husband and wife. Regardless of the fulfillment of economic needs and improvement of the life of a family. Moreover, involved working not only husband but wife who has a duty as a housewife. It is done by a housewife as a reason to assist the family's financial condition, and in other conditions housewives today many choose to work in order to have economic independence. As quoted in (Azizah, et al., 2018) His book on Family resilience in Islamic perspective there is article written (Amany Lubis) that every woman should have economic independence, so that she has power and position in Domestic family relations and social environment. It is also explained that the strengthening and optimizing of women continuously in economic life is very important. stated that women are considered to be weak as a result of poverty (inability) of women to be one of the main factors causing violence for women. Families play an important role in providing education for children especially mothers. But when the role of a mother in the family is lost (no), then the best education that should be gained by the child will be lost. The time in which children get the best education in Ruhani and its physical. Mother is the first man who has given birth to great men all over the world. The world of education will not become progressing without the role the family primarily is mother. Then the question is what if a mother who is the best foundation of education for her child is more working or busy pursuing her profession?
Then when viewed from the statement the author disagrees that the function of a mother in the family will disappear when the mother who is supposed to take care of the family (child and husband) turns into a woman who spends her time working, Although his duties and responsibilities as a housewife remain in place but the portions are more workplaces. When a wife comes home and arriving at home is already feeling tired. So the duties and responsibilities that the wife should take care of the household both the child and the husband are not carried out well. It is necessary to realize that the role of wives in the family is important to foster and educate the 21st century generation. And need 21st century parents know that the challenges and problems faced is always the distinction of generations before.
When the responsibilities of parents move to the people then the planting of values that should be built by parents is not up and not formed. As explained above the inconsistency of the frequency of thinking between children and parents. In Islam the child will become a field of goodness in the world and be diakherat when the best education in the family can be maximised. So that the child becomes a person who is righteous, different children whose care has moved to other people can not be that the child will be a charity for his parents. Parents especially mothers who have the best educational role in the family environment today change over the function as a task and its responsibility. So that at this time the children are handled and do not get the maximum basic education continuus in the family environment. Today, researchers find many parents who leave their children to daycare from the age of 4 months to 5 years before entering the age of early childhood education. When a child enters an early childhood education for a parent working in this case, his condition will be the same as the child will be handed over to the PAUD education institution and will be taken when the school comes home. Similarly, a child in elementary school, secondary school, and high school children will be given a good education and fully parents give children responsibility to the school until the child is picked up. Such conditions are the reason parents choose to leave their children to daycare or toddlers. Then because it is far from family members and relatives Although this became a big problem let alone the women of the current era, do not want to be considered weak by a man. So many women pursue a career with the same level as men. So that the current generation who will become parents and marry then have children. But the hectic workforce of today's parents chooses to entrust their children in both family members (grandfathers and grandmothers), daycare, housekeeper caregivers, and schools that facilitate fulltime. Today's parents many leave their children to daycare, neighbor care or parents, household assistant assistance and fulltime schools become an alternative to childcare. Parenting issues are problems that need to be examined by the preparation of future generations. The alternative efforts that parents do today's era will not provide the best education for the child. The best education of all time is the education that is held in the family. Writers often find child growth is not maximal even some children grow and develop under the borderline (under the average Daris) with Seumurannya children. Or it could be said slower growth of children.
Parents ' role in child development is crucial. Studies have shown that student achievement increases if parents take an active role in the education of their children. One of them is shown by the research results of Harvard Family Research Project's (HFRP) which shows that parental involvement has a close connection with the results of children's achievements. This discovery is consistently seen, on indications of the child's success, whether it is a value, a test score that has a standard, or other measuring methods including teacher judgment. That is why a good school is a school that gives parents a place to get involved in the education of their children. How parents involve themselves is a key factor in improving child performance and also preserving their mental maturity. According to research at Vanderbilt University, parental involvement is not only a static process but it lasts all the time and is very dynamic. In addition to parents, schools, children and the social environment also simultaneously play an important role in this process.
Keep in mind that in addition to ensuring the economic needs to remain well fulfilled, but do not forget that the child requires not only the adequacy of material but the child also needs the spiritual needs that include attention, guidance, and Compassion. All of them cannot be represented by other people. Then also need a mother to build the foundations for the child in the family so that the child knows her family. Do not let the child know the family but the child knows more about the core family.

Method
The method used in this study uses library research or literature research. The research is more researchers dialogue with books, archives, old documents, journals, notes, photographic film documentation, monograph, statistical documents, diaries, letters, and others, and many more. Furthermore, in literature research researchers use data collection techniques by reading and recording and processing of research materials. Then in the collection of data researchers conduct a study and explore several journals, books and documents (both printed and electronic) and data sources or other information that is deemed relevant to Research or study.

A. Disruptive Family Roles
Borrowing terms disruptive innovation means that innovations help create new markets, thus disrupting or damaging existing markets. In line with the notion of innovation is disrutive that the loss or damage of family roles in this case parents in the modern era today in urban areas on one side is a new job opportunity, but on the other side the most potential functions of A damaged family because of the need for a very high economic level. So disruptive can be interpreted as a loss of parental role as the best educator in the family because of the level of economic needs and modern human lifestyle. Disruptife is a psychological contruct. Like all hypothetical contructs, it lacks uniform definition and is subject to invidual interpratation.
Parenting and related family characteristics are perhaps the most studied and documented contributors to risk for disruptive behavior disorder among children. They are also the most salient protective factor againt such problem. Family focused interventions (both preventive and treatment) are among the most effective for disruptive behavior disorder (Dishion & McMahon).
"And a woman is responsible (the leader) in her husband's house and she will be held accountable for that duty and obligation," (NARRATED by Al-Bukhaari and Muslim).
"Every you are a leader and every leader will be held accountable. A husband is the leader of his family. A wife is the leader of her husband's household and also her children. (NARRATED by Al-Bukhaari and Muslim) The duties of the wife are stated as the main duties/obligations. The obligation is Fardlu ' ain (personal obligation). The scholars of this agreement agreed, Sheikh Al Ghazali, for example, a contemporary Egyptian cleric who often progressively defended the rights of women, stating: "However, the basic principles we must follow or we are able to be always close Her is home. I really felt anxious at the habit of a housewife who left (letting) her children live and be taken care of by the servants or handed over to daycare. The breath of a mother has a tremendous influence in growing and nurturing the behavior of virtue in her children. (Husein Muhammad,2009) Intelligence is not the only factor influencing success in education! What is important is the ability to use intelligence in the right jobs, effectively. At this stage, the personality traits and habits of the individual come into play. This is quite important; it is a sensitive issue.
Studies show very clearly that 65% of the children's personality development is in the 0-6 age range. This research re-emphasizes the importance of the family in the child's personality development! But what kind of effects does the family have on children?
In the preschool period, the education and interest of the child from the family is of high importance. The positive attitudes of the family in the 0-6-year-old preschool period and the conscious raising of their children turn into a sustainable success in the school period. On the contrary, it is known that children with problems have failed in school life. Children with personality and behaviour disorders can have adaptation problems when they start school.
Disruptive the role of the family in building the 21st century generation based on information and data researchers have gained include:

The child is deposited with Grandpa Grandma
The bustle and economic needs become one of the causes of child responsibility suspended by entrustking children to other family members such as grandparents. This is for the reason of a particular situation, from the difficulty of finding a child's nanny, the expensive childcare price to the reason for more trusting grandfather and grandmother to care for the child.

Daycare
Besides the child is deposited to grandfather and grandmother there is also a parent who entrust in daycare. Daycare is a nursery that is managed as a container for childcare services. This was done because other family members were far away for example (grandfather and grandmother) so daycare as one of the child care alternatives.

Household Assistants
In addition to being deposited to family members like grandparents, daycare is also a busy parent who works to choose to use a household assistant as an alternative to childcare. A housekeeper is an alternative that parents do to replace a temporary parenting position when parents are busy working.

Fulltime School
Fulltime School is the last solution in addition to the three alternatives chosen by parents who have busy working outside the home. Fulltime School is an alternative chosen by parents for children who have entered primary education until secondary education. Busy parents are working to choose the alternative because there are concerns outside the influence, so that fulltime school can be used as a control and monitoring of parents to the development of children.

What kind of child is on the daycare?
This was strengthened by the study of the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) in the United States in 2004 which explained that providing childcare to other caregivers such as grandparents, caregivers in daycare, maid, or baby The sitter, apparently more negative impacts such as the child will be aggressive and disobedient. Even in the case of extremes, according to the research of Fristi, Indriati, and Erwin (2013) This shows that preschoolers who are fumed in addition to the elderly are at risk of developmental delays, in addition to the BB/TB index The majority of children are in the category Abnormal of preschoolers with parents. Preliminary study results conducted in Growing Tree Daycare and Preschool as well as Daycare Center (PUSPA) Sehat Padjadjaran University states that every year the number of children deposited in the day is increased as more and more parents are Busy work. The phenomenon that occurs in daycare today is that some parents tend to follow the foster pattern given by caregivers in daycare because the child's behavior at home is almost the same as the child's behavior when stored in daycare, but there are some parents who It is precisely less concerned with parenting patterns because the foster pattern in daycare is already considered good. (Adilla Shabarina, et al., 2018) The results of the research conducted (Siti Mardiah, 2019) that the role of socialization and protection proved to replace the role of mother in the home, but the role of affection (affection) is less obtained by the child of the caregiver in the daycare or the day. So the role of daycare is only a place to socialize and provide child protection but not fully provide the foundation of education and also according to the needs or development of the potential of the child. So that the child in his gold will not get the best education from his mother.
The role of mothers until at any time can not be used by the daycare, although with the curriculum or concepts as good as anything.
The research results of Dede Yudi, that the activity of parents outside is not a barrier to provide a plenary service for the child, but as a challenge. Therefore, the presence of daycare park is felt beneficial for the elderly, so this phenomenon becomes a trend. In addition there are parental concerns by putting children in the house by the baby sitter, considering that lately the children of parents are persecuted by their caregivers themselves. No matter the maid, for the highly educated parents, they are worried about having them put to them, because the caring and nurturing child must be the one who understands the child's growth.
According to research and from Brown University and the Russell Sage Foundation, USA. They stated that there was a change of attitude from parents to parenting, where the children were much more comfortable to be cared for with his grandfather and grandmother. Not without reason, psychological Trauma is often heard from children who are raised by nanny alias caregivers. So many people are trying to avoid parenting with an unknown or not close person. Because the closest person is considered to be injured or something else is unwanted especially with others. So grandpa and Grandma were the last choices.
For that, here's the big impact of their psychological being put on by his grandfather and grandmother. (Psychology lecturer, 2019) a. Able to socialize, because it often meet other families if it is taken care or stay with Grandma then the child will be easy socializing.
b. Children feel embarrassed, sometimes the impact of the child is embarrassed. Why? Because the child wants to know that he has parents who nurture or raise them instead of his grandmother. Especially if there is a school activity and the like, then many of his friends are sure to ask where his father and mother. So it's a sad and embarrassed thing if they can only say with her grandmother.
c. Becoming more mature, often several children who are cared for by their grandmother and grandfather are more mature.
d. The child can be wise, if with parents, the debate often results in a selfish child or the impression of a fierce parent. But unlike the grandfathers who are firm but still wise, this is due to the different attitudes of the orphanage. They certainly are much more experienced handling how the children are in the students.
e. More whiny and spoiled, usually some children become more whiny and spoiled. This is because children are often defended by their grandmother and grandfather while arguing or having problems with their master.
f. Feel desirable, for example the parents are busy working and rarely communicating with the child while with his grandmother and grandfather, the child feels heard and desired. So the impact, of course, children will feel more close and needed by his grandfather and grandmother than his parents.
g. Often quarrel with parents, if you've lived a long time with grandma if when back you feel no match to your mother? Different rules and foster ways are the greatest reason. Although her grandmother was the mother of her own mother.
h. Feel the priority, because always take precedence by his grandmother then the child becomes a star in his house.
i. Being a stubborn child, being a stubborn child often happens to a child who is being cared for by his grandmother.
j. Orderly and live well, usually grandmother always have a surefire how to handle a lazy child eating, problematic, irregular, can not be in the Displinkan and so on.
k. Many requests, because it has been often granted the request, the child who was raised with his grandmother and grandfather always have many requests or many things complained.

School Fulltime
The school in the current era is used as the next stage nurturing alternative after the parenting level described above. Schools not only have the function of a container in developing the talent potential of learners, but the school becomes part of integration part of the community that has busy work. Fortunately for parents who do not have sufficient parenting time so that the school is able to be a positive container if compared to the child at home and there is no control of all its activities and activity. Many busy parents work to find a fulltime school of learning process or its extractions. It is as a parent preventative action so that the child is not affected negatively from the outside environment. The school environment is a neutral environment so this becomes one quite effective option. Regardless of the resulting impacts of good or bad children certainly need the care and attention of parents in particular is his mother. Indeed, many choices of mothers who work compared to parenting, because factors A, B and the other can not be mentioned. But the child's growth and development did not come twice. You as mothers have to be wise when and where to nurture them, then what good it is like. Because grandma is an experienced person and knows how to nurture a child well. But it will not be as good as his own mother.
The child does not know his parents, the child will know and feel close to his caregivers. If the child is still alive does not know his parents, especially when the parents are dead what parents are expecting except the prayers of the child are Sholeh. While during his life the parent busy work does not give basic education to his son then it is impossible the child will pray for his parents when it has been Dead.
For the writing of the question of the era of information technology very fast this very allow women or housewives do not need to work out the house but can run business online. This means that the responsibilities of motherhood can still be done and as a career woman can still do. Because the authors see that the education that must be built by a mother will disappear when the parent (mother) works out of the house. Even the author once hearkened to the da'wah of Ustadz Abdul Somad, when a mother will still cry of affection to her children the family civilization and the future of the child will be well-built, while the cry of a mother is no longer Heard in the family environment, the destruction of civilization has been renewed in the family.

Conclusion
Based on the research results The researchers did that disrutive family roles in building the 21st century as follows: (1) Parental role is replaced with daycare. (2) The parental role is replaced with ART (household assistants). (3) Parental roles replaced with grandparents. (4) Parental role is replaced with school based fulltime The 'home education' as a term, represents educational impact of the family on children. It has been proved that in various family environments, children do acquire a variety of experiences, through performing various activities and is constantly exposed to a range of influence and expectations from the people he/she cohabits. In this paper we will analyze the influence of the parents over their children's education within family environment. It will focus issues why each family has different educational potentials. In nowadays social circumstances, the family has a huge and very tough responsibility; as it has to take proper care on their health, their physical development, their overall education, the development of their intellectual affinities, as well as creation for a better moral values and convictions and attitudes, habits to a firm and well behaved cultural relations in the family itself as well as in the society where the child lives. On the other hand, the family as an institution has to create conditions for development of positive relationship towards work, which as such is a predisposition towards a better establishment of a realistic approach for a better development of the children's personality. Keywords: children, education, family relationship, father's role, mother's role.
From all what was said so far, we may conclude that the education in the premises of a family life, has a double meaning: Firstly, it must be seen through the perspective of its contribution to the overall child raising up and education, which is crucial to his/her proper formation of children's personality and further on, his/her preparation for leading an independent life. On the other hand, the focus must be put on the family as whole, and the role of children which must be based on their approach and contribution concerning family problems, which should be dealt with, and finally solved by them. Offering education support to children from their parents, concerning issues such as homework, would help children to create an everyday routine of learning. This approach as such should be stimulated by the parents themselves, by praising, vaunting and rewarding the children regarding the way they perform on this task. This approach as a value would raise within the children the sense of respecting the other family members. Using this education and bringing up methods while raising children, may be considered as one of the best known examples towards a positive overall approach to the educative and formational function with the children, who later on become successful grown up citizens. Offering educational support to them, from their parents, concerning issues such as preparing their homework, on the other hand creates the so called habits of every day routine of action to the learning process, which makes the parents vaunt and praise them, creating and strengthening this way better mutual communication between the parents and children. And again, rewarding and praising the child, is a real stimulator towards a better mutual respect and closeness between all members as a compact family.